~My fabulously Random Blog~

A little about me, my family, my faith, and food !

A Mother’s Prayer March 5, 2011

Filed under: Faith,Family,Love — silimommy @ 11:20 pm
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Today my mind was consumed… I can’t really put into words exactly by what. I guess the best way I can describe it was, that today was a deep day for me. Full of deep thought, deep emotions, and deep prayer…

My prayer life isn’t something I really share with anyone, but I hope that this will be a help to you.

Now before you get the wrong picture, I wasn’t kneeled down by my bed all day or laid out on the floor praying for hours. It was more so an, as it came type prayer, constantly being in a “prayer mode”. As I washed dishes, folded laundry, and did the other things I had to do, I prayed…

My heart just felt so heavy.

My prayer was something along these lines…

“Lord please help me. My hearts desire is to be a good wife and mother. I am striving to be a gentle, loving mom, and a gentle, loving wife. I know I fail every day, but I need your help. Please, help me to be the best person that I can be…..”

My prayers always trail off like this. I feel like I can’t get the words out right. Like saying them isn’t enough. For some reason my prayers can’t be finished with a simple “Amen”, instead I almost always go into a song, and the tears are never far behind. It never fails that somehow a song just comes to me and helps me along in my prayer.

Today was no different. I felt stuck like I had no more words and then, there it was. Ringing out in my head, then I heard myself singing it, then the tears began to flow… iI’s as if in the moment of breaking through my prayer into song that I have also broken through to heaven…

Here was my prayer song:

I don’t know if anyone else has this same prayer experience. I’ve actually never really thought much of it until today. I guess this is just the way I am. I love to sing so it really only makes sense that during the sacred practice of prayer, I sing to the one who gave me the ability to do so…

Here are a few verses on gentleness.

  • “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” Ephesians 4:2
  • “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” Philippians 4:5
  • “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.” Colossians 3:12
  • “As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.” 1 Thessalonians 2:7

I love the reference in this last verse… “like a mother caring for her little children”.

Being gentle requires patience, humility, kindness, and compassion. But most of all it requires love. What other type of love should be more gentle than that of a wife and mother?

Do you have the same or similar experience as mine when it comes to prayer? 

Leave a comment below…

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Understanding… February 24, 2011

Filed under: Exercise,Faith,Food — silimommy @ 2:14 pm
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I am beginning to try to understand myself, to accept who I am, not as a person. I already know and like the inside me, it’s the outside that I have never gotten along with. When I look in the mirror I see every flaw, every lump or bump or bulge. I always have, even at my smallest I was never happy with my size. And no surprise that after gaining 15 lbs after getting married and 50 lbs during my pregnancy, I hate the outside more than ever… even though I am back down to my pre-pregnancy size my shape has not exactly recovered (I’m prepared that it may not completely). Then again I didn’t like my shape when I was small, so…

This is where the beginning is. Trying to accept that I may not have what it takes genetically to be a “skinny girl”. I once thought this is what mattered, but with having a child this view, along with everything else, has changed. Now I am ready (emotionally) to be more accepting of myself, to take responsibility, and leadership in my own health (health being the key word). I’m sure there will always be some desire to be thinner (what American girl in this messed up generation doesn’t), but now it’s more about being the best me possible. Leading a healthy lifestyle to lay an example for my daughter, so that one day she will be able to look at herself in the mirror and think “I look good”, “I love me”! This honestly brings me to tears… I pray that I can set that example for her. So she will know she is beautiful, valuable and most importantly that she will know that God made her perfectly!

These aren’t just words that we teach our children they are actions that we must live out loud.

Having said all of that, and completely and totally opening myself up to you, this is my plan:

  • Eat the healthiest foods possible, and feed my

    family the healthiest food possible.

  • Exercise daily, for at least 45 minutes

            (Sundays may be an off day, not sure yet)

  • Get my family involved in our meal planning and exercising.

{I also am starting to think about monitoring my calories more closely, I’m not sure that I am hitting the right range having stopped eating meat.}

I know this is going to be tough to do because I am the type of person who becomes obsessive over things (A perfectionist?). I am the most scared about monitoring calories… I have been known to bawl my eyes out if I don’t know how many are in something I want… embarrassing, but true (sadly).

So here is my official call to all of you to do the same. Maybe you’re where you want to be, maybe you just want to tone up or start exercising. Maybe like me you want to lose 15-20 lbs. No matter what your goal is you will never reach it if you don’t try! So I am encouraging you to try! You might just surprise yourself!

 

My scripture verse to keep me centered in this quest will be Psalm 139:14

I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. (NKJV)

Be Healthy, Be Happy!

 

Absence… February 23, 2011

Filed under: Faith,Family,Life — silimommy @ 4:56 pm
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For the past few days I have been feeling a little blue, mostly missing my family and friends back home. (That sounds so strange to me.) I know, I am only and hour and a half to two hours from all of my family and friends, but that is further than I have ever been. I was born and raised with my entire family all within 30 minutes of each other!

We were the epitome of an American family. We got together for every, and I mean every, holiday/birthday. We even had an annual “Women’s Week” vacation that all of the women in the family would go on. Of course over the years as our family grew (in leaps and bounds) things had to change some, still these changes were minor. Mainly moving family gatherings from Mamaw Betty Boop’s (my great-grand mother) house, to a hall. The only thing that did stop altogether was the “Women’s Week”. My great grandpa got sick so mamaw Betty Boop couldn’t leave him, and we couldn’t leave her…

So, as you can see I have never been away from my family for an extended amount of time. Even If I didn’t see someone for a few weeks, or even a month. I knew I could always call them up and get together, whenever… Now, that is no longer the case. My mom has 3 kids at home still, 17, 9 and 5! So needless to say between picking up from school, girl scouts, orthodontist appointments… and the list goes on. She can’t exactly jump in the car and drive 2 hours whenever she wants. My aunt also has her own kids from 13-7, my grandma is raising her 2-year-old step-grand-daughter, and my great grandma doesn’t like to drive much anymore… So my family is all busy with their own lives and kids, but they all have each other close by… I guess I just feel isolated? I’m not quite sure if that’s the right word for the situation because I’m not blaming anyone. I know this is what happens in life, it’s just a harder pill to swallow than I expected.

I guess the old adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”, is true. Then again maybe it should read that “Absence make the heart grow heavy”… That’s how I feel right now… Thankfully I have a “Guide Book” if you will. That helps me out in my times of trouble, and a “Guide” who uses many ways to speak to me and show me that everything will be ok!

This is the inspiration sent to me from above, thru a FB friend…

 From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. {Psalms 61:2}